Treated like the Prodigal Son

When I had sufficiently recovered my health, I accompanied Mr. R—1 to Dublin, where I was received and treated like the Prodigal Son. I took a house, hired a number of servants, and upon looking into my affairs, found that I had expended, exclusive of my ready money, about twenty thousand pounds of my fortune. Still, however, I might have been happy ; I had an ample property remaining and was caressed by my friends, who looked upon my past follies with indulgence and as merely proceeding from the ebullitions of youth.

This quiet life did not suit my volatile disposition : in order, therefore, to vary the scene, I sent over to London for a female companion, with whom I had been intimate, and who immediately accepted the invitation. I had no motive whatever in giving her the preference but that she was an exotic. My inamorata was neither distinguished for wit or beauty ; but I will do her the justice to say that she had none of that rapacity and extravagance so common with the generality of her profession. What I expended on her account was from my own free will and suggestion. I hired her a magnificent house, suitably furnished, and settled an allowance of five hundred a year on her : this was merely pro forma, for she cost me upwards of five thousand. At her house I kept my midnight orgies, and saw my friends, according to the fashionable acceptation of the word.

But soon growing tired of this manner of living, I conceived the strange idea of performing, like Cook, a voyage round the world ; and no sooner had it got possession of my imagination, than I flew off at a tangent with my female companion to Plymouth, in order to put my plan in execution, which was to purchase a vessel of two hundred and eighty tons burthen, and to carry twenty-two guns. I entered into treaty with a builder, who engaged to furnish me with one of the above description for ten thousand pounds, equipped in every respect, and to be ready in the space of four months.

Turned upon my intended voyage

This affair settled I returned to Dublin, where being one day at dinner with some people of fashion at the Duke of L—’s,1 the conversation turned upon my intended voyage, when one of the company asked me to what part of the world I meant to direct my course first, to which I answered, without hesitation, “ to Jerusalem.” This was considered by the company as a mere jest ; and so, in fact, it was; but the subject still continuing, some observed that there was no such place at present existing; and others that, if it did exist, I should not be able to find it. This was touching me in the tender point : the difficulty of an undertaking always stimulated me to the attempt. I instantly offered to bet any sum that I would go to Jerusalem and return to Dublin within two years from my departure. I accepted without hesitation all the wagers that were offered me, and in a few days the sum I had depending on this curious expedition exceeded twelve thousand pounds.

My whole mind was now engaged on this new project. I was inflamed with the desire of doing what had not been attempted by any of my countrymen marriage under comet, at least by those of my own age ; and I figured to myself the pleasure I should feel at my return to my own country after having accomplished this undertaking : what admiration I should excite by the detail of my wonderful adventures, my hairbreadth scapes, and the descriptions I should give of the beautiful Turks, Greeks, and Georgians, and all the farrago with which my heated imagination was filled.

I was now nearly of age, and Mr. N—2 peremptorily insisted that I should again examine the state of my fortune ; with which request, however unwilling, I was under the necessity of complying. I found it still more diminished by the variety of my dissipation and extravagance. This worthy man, with the greatest delicacy and gentleness, represented to me then, that the way of life in which I was engaged, must inevitably lead me to ruin ; that my extraordinary, not to say scandalous, establishment formed for the English lady did not stand me in less than five thousand a year ; that the annual expense of my ship, exclusive of the first cost, would amount to as much more ; and that at the rate I proceeded, I must in a short time be reduced to indigence, and depend for support upon my friends and relations : that the attachment of the former, as I have since experienced, would cease, when the sunshine of my fortunes, by which they were now attracted, should disappear; and as to the latter, he knew my pride of heart too well to suppose that I could live under the mortification of owing the means of existence to any one, however nearly allied.